The Concoction

An Ethiopian woman's musings on Africa, the world and everything in between

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        Global Voices Online - The world is talking. Are you listening?
        Wednesday, September 27, 2006
        Marketing gone so wrong
        I wonder if Kotex received a copy of this?!

        Dear Kotex:

        I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my
        pantiliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it.
        Annoying advice such as:

        Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
        Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and
        headaches.Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated
        and feeling fresh. Try Kotex blah blah blah other products...

        Obviously the individual behind this was someone who
        has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries (a man is Concoction's guess).
        Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8
        glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh.
        Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from
        hell...but go ahead...I triple-dog-friggen-dare-ya...
        See what happens and report back. I'll wait.

        While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and
        remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I
        garan-friggen-tee that the first responders will be
        females who just ovulated.

        Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well
        guess what, the only activities that interests me is
        eating..sleeping..bitching or crying for no apparent
        reason.. ..and oh...does ripping someone's head off
        count as a friggen' activity?????

        Look, females don't need or want tips for living on
        their feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are
        already hearing "helpful" crap like that from elderly
        relatives. Veteran females have already concocted
        their own recipes for survival, many containing
        alcohol & barbituates.

        Printing out crap advice while sneaking in ads for the
        brand that was already purchased is just plain
        annoying, not to mention rude, and is enough to send a
        girl running to the Always brand.

        It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by
        adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap
        to your products or the packaging. Put the crap in a
        plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts
        discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and

        There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding
        pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone
        in the store. Why don't ya just add an in-store
        microphone to the damn package & announce
        that...helloooo, another female in the store is on the

        So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies &
        the smiley faces and shove them right up your ass.

        PS How about adding a free sample of Pamprin & maybe a
        hot of Bourbon to your packages instead!!!

        Phew! That must have felt good!
        posted by Fikirte @ 11:04 AM   Digg!
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        The face of VAW

        Kamilat - victim of acid burning The face of VAW - violence against women. It should and can be stopped with enough commitment. Helping one woman at a time is a start.
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