| Wednesday, September 27, 2006
| Marketing gone so wrong
|I wonder if Kotex received a copy of this?!
I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my
pantiliner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it.
Annoying advice such as:
Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and
headaches.Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated
and feeling fresh. Try Kotex blah blah blah other products...
Obviously the individual behind this was someone who
has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries (a man is Concoction's guess).
Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8
glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh.
Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from
hell...but go ahead...I triple-dog-friggen-dare-ya...
See what happens and report back. I'll wait.
While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and
remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I
garan-friggen-tee that the first responders will be
females who just ovulated.
Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well
guess what, the only activities that interests me is
eating..sleeping..bitching or crying for no apparent
reason.. ..and oh...does ripping someone's head off
count as a friggen' activity?????
Look, females don't need or want tips for living on
their feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are
already hearing "helpful" crap like that from elderly
relatives. Veteran females have already concocted
their own recipes for survival, many containing
alcohol & barbituates.
Printing out crap advice while sneaking in ads for the
brand that was already purchased is just plain
annoying, not to mention rude, and is enough to send a
girl running to the Always brand.
It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by
adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap
to your products or the packaging. Put the crap in a
plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts
discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and
There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding
pink package announcing your uterine state to everyone
in the store. Why don't ya just add an in-store
microphone to the damn package & announce
that...helloooo, another female in the store is on the
So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies &
the smiley faces and shove them right up your ass.
PS How about adding a free sample of Pamprin & maybe a
hot of Bourbon to your packages instead!!!
Phew! That must have felt good!
|posted by Fikirte @ 11:04 AM